Long drives are wonderful for allowing quiet think time for reminiscing, problem solving, daydreaming, and planning. I had a 10 hour drive this week, both there and back, so my mind has been filled with lots of wonderful thoughts, and particularly because I have been fousing on Finding your Passion and because it is the 10th year anniversary of my Mother’s death, these two things came together in my mind. I realized that my Mom was a wonderful role model for me in terms of passionate living, because she herself was a very passionate person. At a certain age, I found that aspect of her personality to be embarrassing and ‘uncouth’, thinking that other people would be judging her as overly emotional and not politically correct, or whatever the term of the day was for repressing your true feelings. How I got to be such a ‘stick in the mud’ at such an early age, I haven’t thought about before, but it was probably during the time of my own adolescence that I was making these judgments, the time when image is all important and any expression of emotion is unacceptable. When I look at the reminiscences from my current mental window, I still called it ‘being quite upset’. But if I reconsider that, it was actually an occurrence that she felt strongly about, and was speaking her mind on the topic. How else are we going to effect change? How else are we going to be instrumental in our own lives if we are not motivated by passion and strongly felt emotion? These are powerful motivating forces, driving us to act when complacency dulls our senses and makes us into the quiet slaves of mediocracy.
Mom was very strong in her beliefs about certain things, and these two things definitely go together – passion and strongly held beliefs. My Grandfather was in the war and his lungs were damaged by nerve gas, to the extent that he suffered emphysema in his later years. Several of the sons and daughters-in-law continued to be ignorant of his discomfort and smoke in the house. Again, looking back, I wonder why he didn’t say anything himself, but if I recall correctly, he thought that they wouldn’t visit if they weren’t allowed to smoke in the house. What comment is that on how self-important and self-indulgent my relatives were at that time. Another thought on how we judge emotional expressions and label them as displays, or outbursts. But we must ask, if you don’t have the courage of your own convictions, who is going to speak for you?
On another occasion, my Grandmother was having her 80th or thereabouts birthday party and many relatives were camped in the yard, or visiting in clustered groups on the lawn and in and out of the house. It was a year when talk of Grandma’s health was focused on concerns about her not getting overly excited because she might be prone to congestive heart failure. Ironically, my Grandmother is still alive 20 or more years later, and my Mom has passed away. However, during the lull between meals, a water-fight broke out between several of my uncles. Now, these are probably 60 year old men, thinking and feeling like young boys, running and slipping, bumping into things, yelling and creating, albeit hilarious mayhem, but mayhem nonetheless. At what must have been the crescendo of activity and ultimately, in my Mom’s perception, danger, she stood on the deck with her arms outstretched like Moses and yelled at the top of her voice “STOP”. A powerful act, as it turned out, everyone did stop and settle into less heady celebrations. Probably some were miffed, some were relieved and some were complacent, but the act on my Mother’s part, was to control and effect a whole group of overly excited adults because she decided to take action.
This is perhaps not a momentous example, but as our every day actions determine our future and speak to our character, Mom acted passionately on her belief that her own mother was in danger. How many times do we look the other way when we see something happening that is against what we believe in, ignore the signs in front of us, shuffle away and hope it will resolve itself without us getting involved? It is the everyday where we test ourselves and what we are made of. The small actions of courage that are met with success will lead us to take on greater challenges with more confidence and conviction.
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